By Jax Hunter
Greetings, Campers, this month, we look at
writing ACTION. Hold up there, Hoss! I know some of you are thinking, “I
don’t write big action scenes.” The
truth is that you probably do, but by ACTION here, I am not talking about the
blockbuster action scenes; I’m talking
about writing action.
In The Tools of
Screenwriting, authors David Howard and Edward Mabley contrast ACTION and
ACTIVITY.
“Action and activity are not
interchangeable. . . An activity is anything that a character might be doing in
a scene, from knitting to filleting a fish to typing to memorizing song lyrics
out loud; this is often called ‘business.’ On the other hand, an action is an activity with a purpose behind it, an
activity that furthers a character’s pursuit of an objective."
They go on to say that
purposeful activity that expresses emotion (action) must be laid out before a
scene is written.
Novelists too, can make use
of this technique in several ways. We
can simply jot down the actions on cards for each scene. However, here, I want to point to another
technique you may want to try.
When you sit down to write
your next scene, write it as a screenplay, but do not write any dialogue. Just list the movement of the actors and brief thoughts and
reactions. This will give you a
framework upon which you will later add the dialogue and details. If you try it this way, you’ll be focused
throughout the process on the action.
By the way, in movies, action
is filled with visual elements, things the audience can see. How much more powerful is it for your reader
to SEE your hero grip the back of a chair with iron fists, grating his teeth, maybe
even throwing the chair through a window, than if we simply hear him speak of
his rage. Of course, we need to engage
all the senses, but remember that what we see has a greater influence on us
than what we hear or smell or feel.
So, here’s how it can be done
(remember, I’m with you on this journey and am NOT the expert here.)
In this scene (from A Good
Place to Land), our Heroine, Lily, is working the radios at Search and Rescue
Headquarters when she learns that the Hero’s helicopter has gone down.
The screenplay/outline of
this scene would look like this:
Lily senses that something is
wrong. The team chatter isn’t normal.
She sorts through the recent
happenings to pinpoint what’s wrong.
Finally, she radios Daniel to
find out.
He stalls her, then asks her
to try to reach the helicopter.
That’s when she knows.
She does her job, keeping her
reaction to the facts muted.
It’s nearly impossible to
list actions devoid of the emotions that both caused the action and then came
as a result of the action. So those are
listed as well, with no real detail and certainly no backstory. That will all come as you take this outline
and write the scene. That is when you’ll
put in all the details we’ve talked about. And, of course, you’ll add the actual dialogue. Having this tool ahead of time, though, will
help you stay on target for the scene.
Here’s what the actual scene
looked like:
Tucked back in the radio room at the SAR building, Lily
Atherton could tell something was wrong.
She’d been running the SAR communications for long enough that she knew
most of the voices by heart. With
Daniel, she could pick up on the subtleties of his moods.
Everything was okay just a few minutes ago. The Colonel had dropped off two PJ’s - Nic
D’Onofrio and, she thought, Matt Wiley - along with a Stokes litter. One of her guys had reported the chopper away
after the drop.
Good.
Then there was chatter, they were
talking to each other, not to her.
Something was wrong but they weren’t saying
what.
“901, Search Base, status,” her way of
finding out.
“Yeah, Search Base, stand by one,” Daniel
responded, his voice tight with tension.
Seconds, maybe even minutes ticked
by.
“Search Base, 901.”
“Go, 901,” Lily tried to keep her voice smooth,
calm. It was an exercised skill and,
over the last year and a half, she’d had more than a few opportunities to
practice.
“Base, please see if you can reach Zero
Eight on our frequencies.”
Her stomach clenched. Reach the bird? That didn’t sound good.
“Air Force Rescue Zero Eight, this is Search
Base on MRA channel one.”
She repeated the plea twice on each of three Mountain
Rescue Association frequencies. She even
tried on National Law frequency.
“901, Search Base, negative contact with
Zero Eight. Do I need to contact the
RCC?”
The Rescue Coordination Center was the military
equivalent of her office there. A sharp
dread settled in her heart as she waited for Daniel’s answer.
Rick McIntyre was flying that chopper.
Remember that actions devoid
of emotion are simply activity. We want
to limit activity, if possible. Of
course, we also want to avoid talking heads. There will be times when you must use activity within a scene to do
so. However, if you can load that
activity with emotion, your writing will be much better.
Next month we’ll go into
greater depth on dialogue.
In the meantime, try this
technique and feel free to let me know how it worked.
Until next month, when we take a look at set dressing, BIC-HOK (Butt in Chair - Hands on Keyboard).
Jax (www.jaxmhunter@gmail.com)
(This series first ran in the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers newsletter in 2005.)
About the Author: Jax Hunter is a published romance writer and freelance copywriter. She wears many hats including EMT, CPR instructor, and Grammy. She is currently working on a contemporary romance series set in ranching country Colorado and a historical romance set in 1775 Massachusetts. She lives in Colorado Springs, belongs to PPW, RMFW and is a member of the Professional Writer's Alliance.
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