Digging for Gold aka Revision

by Deb McLeod

My first beta reader reaction is in on the first 200 pages of my novel “The Julia Set.”

She says: “This is a very polished piece of work, and if you just keep loading the progression of events as you have been doing, you will have a winner on your hands. It’s offbeat. It’s genre bending. But it's also well written and it makes sense. It’s a challenge to a reader in a GOOD way.”

Yeah, I’m floating on that. My first beta reader and good friend, Liz, is a writer with several of her own books published and a savvy reader. I chose her on purpose because she knows my writing and knows what a departure this novel is for me. The overall comment she made is fantastic but she still had some suggestions and some areas that need work. I can ride the energy of her words right though the tough spots of what comes next.

Revision.

Here’s the five-part revision checklist I will use for “The Julia Set.”

One – Answer beta reader issues (or dismiss them if you don’t agree)

• I don’t understand this.
• That plot line might be overreaching.
• Explanation of this part of your world comes in too late.
• Little nitpicks, etc.

Two – Descriptions – my own issue with my own writing (what’s yours?)
Look at descriptions of people and setting. Are they too long? Nonexistent? Reveal enough to anchor the reader the first time we meet a character? 

Three – Scene by scene – take it one step at a time 
First scene: 

• Look closely at the hook and the first line of the book
• Does the opening reflect the ending?

All scenes:

• Does this scene need to be here? (I will do this because the book is long.)
• Does this scene advance the plot? Reveal character? Or should it be cut?
• What is a distraction from the core story?

Four – Word by word, paragraph by paragraph:

• Look for repetitive thoughts
• Look for excess language. Eliminate excess words
• Look for –ing, -ly, seem, seemed or worst of all seemingly (my pet peeves)
• Look for sentences that begin with “There” or “It”
• Look for the ‘to be’ verb and passive language
• Search for consistency in name changes I made halfway through
• Search for italic and make sure it follows the rules (when the Angels speak on the human plane)
• Check open and close quotes

Five – How does it go?
Check the pacing and chapter breaks. Update the chapter spreadsheet to check page numbers per chapter and closing line.

Revision Cheat Sheet
There are many more revision items you might add to your checklist. My clients use a cheat sheet that we create as we go along. It contains habits they want to work on and notes about what to look for before they send their pages to me. Some of them keep the cheat sheet taped on the wall near the computer so they’re revising as they go.

My cheat sheet says to look for –ing, look at dialogue tags, and WRITE MORE DESCRIPTION.

What might yours say?

About the Author: Deb McLeod, is a writer, creative writing coach and founder of The Writing Ranch. She has both an MFA and a BA in creative writing. She has been teaching and coaching for over ten years. Deb has published short fiction in anthologies and journals. She has written articles and creative nonfiction. Deb has been a professional blogger, tech writer, graphic artist and Internet marketing specialist. 

Working on My Puzzle, er, Manuscript

"Easy-to-read is hard to write."  — Pam Zollman

By Stacy S. Jensen
 

As a kid, I worked on jigsaw puzzles. Today, I'm back at work. No pieces this time — a jumble of words.

 

My quest to add submissions into my writing process has resulted in feedback and rewrites.

The revisions click on some days. I hear angels sing.

On other days, I feel like all the puzzle pieces are black. I have no idea where to begin. I hear my toddler say, "Now, that's a problem."

Before critique groups, I rewrote my manuscripts completely. It's an easier technique with a 500 or less word picture book manuscript. Third person point-of-view changed to first person. My main character morphed from a boy to a girl. Secondary characters vanished.

Now with an assortment of critique groups — in person, online, and a local Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI) critique group — I add a new layer to the process. I pick a version to submit and absorb the feedback.

I've decided to allow myself to be irritated by some suggestions.

"They can't kill my darlings! That's my job!" Oops said that out loud.

Of course, I've found that acknowledging how the feedback annoys me actually helps me. I think about it (well, steam about it sometimes). I question the validity. I rewrite the scene with the suggestion.

I've found that it works sometimes and sometimes it doesn't.

At the end of the day, it's my story. For me to pitch it, to be passionate about it, and to continue revision after revision, it has to stay my story.

After attending the Big Sur in the Rockies last spring, I am bolder about how I utilize critique time. I may ask for specific attention to an area of the story or a format issue like an illustration note.

Even though critiques fire me up to revise, I often will wait a week before opening up the story again. I do research like check out books brought up during the critiques as possible comparable titles. Then, I return to the critique notes. I make changes. I ignore suggestions. I write new scenes. I replace words. 

The perfect word is important in any genre, but in a short picture book it can be difficult to find.

Then, I decide whether the story is ready to return to the outside world. Oh, and whether I need to rewrite the query letter or not.

As I go through revisions, I do focus on whether I really love the story or not. At one conference, an agent mentioned she must love a story, because it takes two to three years for it to reach bookstore shelves. The same can be said about a story I write. You must love a story to keep revising it over and over again until it's right.

What's your favorite way to revise a story, scene, or novel?
 

About the Author: Stacy S.Jensen worked as a newspaper reporter and editor for two decades. Today, she writes picture books and revises a memoir manuscript. She lives in Colorado Springs with her husband and toddler.