The Real Secret to Networking: Change your Approach

By: Barbara Nickless

In my first professional job, a mentor told me networking was de rigueur. Get out of your office, he said. Meet people. Trade business cards. Swap information. Do this with the hope that meeting this person will lead to that person and eventually get you wherever it is you want to go.

Nothing wrong with that.

Except, I was terrible at it. Case in point—I would go out of my way to avoid my boss's boss. (Did I say avoid? We're talking treat the guy like he had the plague.) Just so he'd know I wasn't trying to brownnose. For the same reason, I avoided anyone else who might help advance my career.

No brownnosing for me. Nuh uh. No way.

So although I worked hard and helped people out on their own networking journey, I did almost no networking of my own. I connected with people. That was fun. But I found actual networking—connecting with a self-advancing goal in mind—stressful. It made me feel as if I had to size up everyone I met at work events or writers conferences with a What's in it for me? attitude.

Networking did not make me happy. And I like to be happy.

According to the latest research, we are happiest when we give. Volunteering, helping friends and family, and donating to charities provides a sense of belonging, that connection we crave. Turns out that selflessly helping others improves our own prosperity. How? By raising our self-esteem and happiness. Our altruistic joie de vivre then draws others to us.

After my house burned down in a wildfire, Mystery Writers of America offered to send me to one of their day-long MWA Universities. I gratefully accepted their generosity, thrilled to be with fellow writers and away from the rented furniture in my rented home.

One of the speakers that day was Hank Phillippi Ryan. Hank is the epitome of gracious connecting. She is warm, caring, curious, empathic. She exemplifies the whole mental flip from networking to connecting that I'm trying to push here. At the MWA University I got the opportunity to meet her. But I didn't get the chance to tell her how much the day meant to me, or how her workshop inspired me to sit down and write a novel.

Writing a novel, as most of you know, is hard. As in, really, really hard. Getting to THE END is the emotional equivalent of summiting Annapurna, a mountain in Nepal with the highest fatality-to-summit ratio in its class. In just one month in 2014, at least 39 people perished on the mountain.

Writing or mountaineering—a lot of people die on the way. 

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But the writing wasn't nearly as intimidating as the next step. Yes.That step. The one that turns you from victorious mountain climber to exhausted wreck, wondering if you've got the strength to take even one more step.

I'm talking about the Great Agent Hunt. The quest that makes you realize that although you summited Annapurna, you still haven't reached the top of the world. Worse for me, finding an agent would no doubt involve—shield your eyes—networking.

Climbing the real Annapurna suddenly seemed a viable alternative.

But novelists are tough. We do what we have to do. Since I'd written a mystery and planned to write a thriller after that, I accepted a friend's offer to let me bunk with her at Thrillerfest. I packed my bags and flew to New York City and—figuring no networking would be required—attended the terrifying, exhilarating, rewarding and exhausting ordeal known as Pitchfest.

Three-and-a-half hours. More than fifty agents and editors. By the end of it, I was ready to throw myself in front of an agent, stare into her eyes and skip all formalities such as introductions and an actual pitch. My much-practiced proposal went from "Hi, so happy to meet you, I've written a novel … " to, "Yo. You want it or not?"

I staggered out, reeling like a prize fighter who's taken one too many blows. Although my pitches had been successful, I still had a long slog in front of me. You know the drill. Send out the manuscript and wait for maybe yes, maybe nothing, maybe no. No as in never, don't contact me again, stay away from my office, my home, my children, my alma mater, get a job digging ditches.

I headed toward the bank of elevators with no further plan than to go up to my room, throw myself on the bed and sleep. Cocktails to follow.

Then my gaze settled on Hank, also waiting for an elevator. I knew talking to her would be safe. No stress. Nothing intimidating. And I'd been wanting to thank her for her kindness at MWA University, and for her wonderful class. As we chatted, a man came over to say hello to Hank, who brightened and gestured us toward each other. "Author, agent. Agent, author."

The gentleman turned to me with a kind and cheerful smile.

He wasn't one of the agents who'd been in Pitchfest.         

Fresh meat.

"Bob Diforio," he said as we shook hands. "Tell me about your book."

I mustered a smile. But—seriously—I was at that "do you want it or not" stage.

"I'm not sure I can," I said. Honest, but unhelpful.

"Ah, come one," he said. "I'd love to hear about it."

We bid farewell to Hank and walked a few paces away.

Pulling on depths I didn't know I had, I pitched for the tenth time. He asked for the manuscript. And then, bless his heart, sat in the hotel lobby and read the first few chapters. Before the cocktail party that evening, he offered me representation. He spent the evening chatting up my book to editors and introducing me to his other clients. I spent the evening in a happy daze.

All because MWA had reached out to me after the wildfire, then Hank had been friendly and inspiring at the MWA University, and finally I'd found a chance to connect with her and thank her for helping me. Hopefully Hank got a small glow from our reconnection. I know I did. Small as in megawatt laser.

As for the friend who offered to share her room at Thrillerfest? We now also share an agent. I introduced them over cocktails. A perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.

Looking for success and longing for happiness?

Ask not what your fellow writers can do for you. Ask, instead, what you can do for them.

About the Author:  Barbara Nickless is an award-winning author whose short stories and essays have appeared in anthologies in the U.S. and U.K. She is represented by Bob Diforio of the D4EO Literary Agency. 

A Rookie PPWC Experience

By Lise Bennett

My head spun for weeks from everything I learned at this year’s Pikes Peak Writers Conference - or was the spinning due to lack of sleep combined with altitude? Whatever the reason, my first PPWC was an incredible experience. I went into the weekend with the simple intent to soak up as much novel-writing knowledge as I could each day, wring my brain out every night, and be ready to absorb again the next day. Soak, wring, repeat. I left with much more than I’d imagined.

I arrived the first morning to “A Murder in Aspen Leaf” where EMTs, CSIs, FBI agents, and I think IPOs were investigating a death. I had my money on Professor Plum in the bedroom with a belt— the one that matched the ligature marks found on the victim’s neck. The presenters taught us how to set up a realistic murder investigation scene by explaining the flow of events that take place, clarifying who has jurisdiction over what, and illustrating how the various specialties do what they do. I found the forensics portion particularly fascinating. Chris Herndon, the Coroner, explained how rigor mortis follows a predictable time pattern and can be used to estimate time of death. She showed us how the location of lividity, discoloration caused by congestion of blood pooling in a dependent part of the body, can indicate that a body has been moved. After a detailed explanation of the careful observations, examinations, and calculations she uses in her work, she said that in reality, calling time of death boils down to SWAG; coroner lingo for “scientific wild-assed guess”.

Middle-grade novelist extraordinaire and seasoned wrangler of 12-year-olds, Darby Karchut exudes acceptance and support as only a 7^th grade teacher can. She’s the kind of person who would be completely unfazed if some guy laughed so hard at one of her anecdotes that he snorted diet soda out of his nose and onto her dress. She’d whip out a tissue, rub the spill and pat the snorter at the same time, and then spin her story in a way that made soda guy look like a hero. She’s that good. She was the perfect person to guide us through the intimidating world of querying, publishing, agents, and contracts. Apparently the fun of writing in stolen 15-minute bursts every single day, juggling families and day jobs, mustering enough courage to slash the things that don’t work, and sweating through the fear of not being able to make up something better is only the beginning of the levity yet to come. I learned that pitching is not for weaklings or those whose stamina is taxed by walking from the computer to the coffee pot. Darby pitched her first book 102 times before she got an offer. Since everything about the publishing journey— from the writing to the waiting— moves at a glacial pace, she encouraged us to acknowledge and celebrate every milestone along the way, from fixing a difficult chapter to typing “The End”. Darby went out to eat after her first book was released reminding herself, “Yesterday I didn’t have a book published; today I have a book published.” I’m just trying to decide how many pages I need to write to justify some dancing and cookie eating merriment.

Hank Philippi Ryan, the ultimate in unaffected coolness, is a mystery writer/investigative reporter. She talked about the way her career in TV journalism has supported her novel writing. She said that any story, whether it’s a three-minute feature on the nightly news or a 400-page novel, has to capture people’s attention and keep them hanging on until the end. That means originally my writing has to excite me, the writer. Does the story move me on a heart level? Is the idea compelling enough to sustain me through the unfolding and resolution of the plot? Hank’s trick for uncovering meaning in the story is to repeat to herself over and over “Why do I care?” It’s also apparently vitally important to say this aloud in a nasal twang to channel the voice and spirit of one of her executive producers. By asking this question again and again with the proper inflection, it will help me discover what it is that I can sink my teeth into without letting go. It will transform me into a literary pit bull for the months or years it will take to tell my story. It will show me where the meat is— or the marinated soy, if I’m in a vegetarian state of mind.

Before attending the conference, I knew that flaws are what make a character relatable and interesting, but Carol Berg, writer of all things demonic, enchanting, and magical, gave us a great tool to discover these flaws. She suggested asking, in terms of our characters, “How do you get them riled up?” Trai Cartwright, screenplay goddess, took a similar, if less subtle approach. Her M.O.? Character harassment. Her eyes gleamed when she told us we can’t really know a character until we put him in a fight. Thanks to her, I now have visions of each of my characters enclosed in an MMA-style chain link ring— with Trai. They don’t have to fight her, though. They could fight their boss, the rain, fate, or a Thin Mint-toting Girl Scout with a kick ass sales goal and a take no prisoners attitude. And if there are multiple main characters, Trai says everyone needs to be messed with!

When I signed up for PPWC 2014, I was expecting to have an enjoyable weekend and learn a lot about writing. I wasn’t disappointed. However, my experience went far beyond that. I met wonderful people with enormous vocabularies and even more enormous hearts, and I think I may have walked away with the Holy Grail— not only for success in writing, but for success in life:

• Mess with everyone. Really rile them up.
• Rejoice in flaws. They are more interesting than strengths.
• Care. (using my best nasal twang)
• Celebrate every victory no matter its size.
• Accept that I’ll never have all the answers and then take my best SWAG, because in the end, I’m going to die anyway.
• Write here. Write now.

About the Author:  Lise Bennett is a transplant to Colorado but is thriving in the reduced oxygen. She won the grand prize in a scene writing contest sponsored by Showtime, was a winner in the Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition with her script, Crossing the Line, and was a finalist in both The Moondance International Film Festival and The Latino Screenplay Competition with En el Nombre de Dios. Formerly working full time in private practice as a naturopathic doctor, she has now gotten her priorities straight and spends her time making stuff up and writing it down. If she’s not behind her laptop, Lise is probably balancing on two wheels or one leg, huffing up a 14er, blowing into the small end of a sax, or compressing and extending her way through West Coast Swing. Lise is currently converting her script, Crossing the Line, to a novel, writing an action comedy screenplay, and is part of a documentary film project called Voices of Grief.

Quote of the Week and Week to Come

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." - Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

This week on Writing From the Peak...

* Go for the No!  from Aaron Michael Ritchey

* Action  from Jax Hunter

*  Sweet Success - Gail Mencini  from Kathie Scrimgeour

Congratulations to our PPWC Keynote speaker, Hank Phillippi Ryan, on winning the Agatha Award. When I asked her for her reaction she told me, "It brings tears to my eye to describe it--I'm thrilled, delighted, surprised and endlessly honored. To have THE WRONG GIRL singled out as the best of the year is beyond imagination--I am so grateful!--and it inspires me to work even harder. And P.S.--I had such a wonderful time at PPWC! Thank you so much for inviting me..and for having such a terrific event."

Countdown to Conference: 10 Reasons to Attend PPWC 2014 (That You Might Not Already Know)

By M.B. Partlow


1. Mark Leslie Lefebvre is Director of Self Publishing and Author Relations for Kobo. An advocate for booksellers, print on demand, ePublishing, and independent authors, Mark has given talks about writing, book-selling and publishing throughout the US and Canada, as well as in Paris, London, and Frankfurt. Yeah, and he's a published author, as well.

2. Can I interest you in a Carriger or a Ryan? Perhaps a Firespider? This year, the bar at the Marriott is crafting special drinks in honor of each keynote speaker, only available for the duration of conference.

By OCAL, clker.com

3. HOT DAMN Designs is hosting a reception on Friday night in the library next to the bar. Free and open to everyone. Grab a drink and head in for the Kim and Jennifer show! Giveaways, fun and...are those cover models in the corner that you can take your photo with?

4. The chocolate cake is back for dessert at Saturday night's dinner. Yum!

5. A dead body! On stage! If you haven't signed up for Murder in Aspen Leaf, part of the Thursday Prequel, you'll miss the chance to see our murder victim make her acting debut. Please, do not call 9-1-1. Unless you find a second body.

By OCAL,clker.com

6. The shoes. Realistically, there's nothing more fun than the betting pool on how tall our conference director will be in her tallest heels of the weekend. And if anyone has a radar gun, we'll clock how fast she can move in those stilettos.

7. Becky Clark has offered (threatened might be a better word) to present part of her Thursday workshop using interpretive dance.

8. Deb Courtney is running another fabulous on-site flash fiction contest. Bring your mad writing skillz and wait for the prompt. Pencils down when Deb calls time.

9. Chuck Wendig's beard. Some say it's the source of his power.

10. MK and Brian Meredith onstage in their underwear! That got your attention. In a very special workshop on Sunday, Lights, Camera, Kiss, our fearless leader and her equally fearless husband have volunteered to play the cover models for a photo shoot. I'd be very surprised if there wasn't a kilt involved.

Here's our fearless leader, herself, talking about Pikes Peak Writers Conference 2014:

About the Author: MB Partlow, 2013 Programming Director for the Pikes Peak Writers Conference, is hard at work getting fantastic speakers and participants for the conference.  You can reach her at programming@pikespeakwriters.com or find more information on the 2013 Pikes Peak Writers Conference at pikespeakwriters.com.

PPWC 2014 Q&A - Hank Phillippi Ryan

Only two days to register for Pikes Peak Writers Conference 2014 before pricing increases!

Hank Phillippi Ryan, Author, Keynote

1. What was the defining moment that made your realize you wanted to be an author?

I had a great idea for a mystery. It was SUCH a good idea, there was nothing I could do but write it. (It turned out to be PRIME TIME, which won the Agatha. I was 55 years old.)

2. What is the one thing you cannot work without? What is your creative vice?

Coffee. Lattes, iced or hot, who cares. It's wrong to think of that as a vice, though. Oh, Diet Cokes, put in the freezer until they are slushy. And almonds. Plus--it's also not a vice!-- but even though I work at the computer, I still need a pencil and a legal pad and an eraser.

3. If you could 'revive' any literary figure from the past for a one hour conversation, who would you choose?

Shakespeare. The best story-teller ever, relentless suspense, absolutely reliably wonderful plots, intense and poetic and original, with psychologically rich characters, and big- finish endings.

4. What is one of your more notable or unusual conference or convention experiences?

At BEA, I was interviewed by Lee Child. It's used on my audio book! Amazing. At CCWC, I got to interview the brilliant Sue Grafton, for which I studied for weeks. And, in a scene right out of Ziegfield, I was asked to interview the incredible David Baldacci, in front of the entire Bouchercon, with only a few hours notice when Robert Crais had to cancel. I'm a reporter, can do. But here's my philosophy--one wonderful thing happens at every conference. To each and every person. I promise, You just have to go and see what it will be.

5. If we asked your friends and family to compare you to a cartoon character, which would they choose, and why?

Ha. I'd love to know that, and now I'm going to ask them. I would predict the Roadrunner, because I am always going a million miles an hour, and sometimes don't realize I need to stop. But he's happy, right? And he keeps trying!

And as an addendum: I went to Facebook (of course) to actually ASK my friends which cartoon character I reminded them of. And I was--touched and amused, frankly, and still laughing at the results. There was a big contingent of Brenda Starr, and of Lois Lane. Makes sense, right? A few "Cathy," which I love, and Veronica from Archie, ditto, and Joan Jetson, brilliant, BOTH Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo, which I embrace totally. And, from the "you gotta be kidding but thank you" department, Wonder Woman and Jessica Rabbit. Only a few people--- all dear friends--picked Roadrunner.

6. What is one thing would you like aspiring authors to know about the road to success?

It's different for each person, so it's a waste of time to compare what you have with what others have. Work as hard as you possibly can, do the best you possibly can, every single minute on every single project. You never know when the wonderful thing will happen. Be generous, be kind, be grateful, be patient. This is what you always wished for! And when you have a bad day (as we all do!)--pat yourself on the back, because that means you're giving it all you've got--and that's what writers do! And don't forget to have fun.

About the Author/Keynote: HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN is the on-air investigative reporter for Boston’s NBC affiliate. She’s won 30 EMMYs, 12 Edward R. Murrow awards and dozens of other honors for her ground-breaking journalism. A bestselling author of six mystery novels, Ryan has won multiple prestigious awards for her crime fiction: the Agatha, Anthony, Macavity, and most recently, the coveted Mary Higgins Clark Award. National reviews have called her a “master at crafting suspenseful mysteries” and “a superb and gifted storyteller.” Her newest thriller, THE WRONG GIRL, is a Boston Globe bestseller and was dubbed “Another winner” in a Booklist starred review. She’s on the national board of Mystery Writers of America and 2013 president of national Sisters in Crime. Visit her online at HankPhillippiRyan.com, on Twitter @hank_phillippi and Facebook/HankPhillippiRyanAuthorPage.